Whether you’re looking forward to it or not, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. The hearts, cupids, boxes of chocolates and roses can be enough to make anyone sick if they’re not particularly excited about celebrating Valentine’s Day. But if you’re in the middle of fertility treatments, dealing with the expenses and the feeling of anxiety, it can be even worse. Many people feel a lot of pressure to up the romance on Valentine’s Day, but if you’re dealing with infertility, romance might be the last thing on your mind. Instead of dreading this holiday, take this day as a reminder of your love for each other and forget about the doctor visits. There are many things you can do to take the pressure out of Valentine’s Day so you and your partner can simply enjoy being with one another.
Check out these tips on how to make the most of this holiday, and not let infertility get in the way of romance:
Go on a date. It could be going to a hip new restaurant or hitting up your favorite drive-in joint for hamburgers and milkshakes. Maybe it’s not even about food at all, and you go get a couples massage! Whatever it is, make sure it’s all about you two and reflects what you’re most interested in.
Or don’t, and just plan some alone time. Instead of going out, you could just stay in and cook a nice dinner, or get out of town together for a change of scenery. Whichever you chose, it’s just important that you’re together. Life moves so fast that we often don’t spend the alone time that we need as a couple. Or maybe you’ve spent that alone time talking about conceiving, which brings us to our next point.
Ban the baby talk. Though we know it’s hard, try to get “baby off the brain” just for one night! Don’t let the infertility talk get in the way of having a romantic night. It’s hard to be “in the moment” when you’re discussing schedules, treatments, and doctors. In fact, try to make it a rule that neither of you can talk fertility, babies, or treatments
Remind each other of why you first fell in love. Share your most cherished memories of your significant other. Reminisce about the first time you met, where you went on your first date, and the first time you kissed. The goal here is to remind each other of these memories and remember why you fell in love in the first place. Try to keep these memories top of mind on this special night, and always…
Don’t let Valentine’s be one day a year. All year round, especially with couples struggling with infertility, each partner needs to feel supported by the other. Let your partner know you’re there for them and you’re in this together. Let this trial in your life bring you closer together and stronger as a couple. You can do it!
This day doesn’t need to be a reminder of infertility. It needs to be a reminder of how much you love and support one another. Take this Valentine’s Day to spend time alone together without talking about infertility. You may end up finding that it’s your favorite holiday, as long as you make it about you and your partner, and spend some time just being together and focusing on your relationship. Happy Valentine’s Day!
The ART Fertility Program of Alabama is located in Birmingham, Alabama with additional locations in Huntsville, Montgomery and Tuscaloosa. The program is led by Dr. Kathryn Honea, Dr. Virginia Houserman, Dr. Cecil Long and Dr. Chris Allemand who are Board Certified specialists in Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility. All are skilled in comprehensive infertility care and offer a complete range of infertility services.